ç'est la vie RN

Category: The journey

  • Leaders need love too

    Leaders need love too

    The past two weeks have been a little rugged and challenging to say the least. Last week one of my team members was put on a final warning and this week, one was terminated. I am about 6 weeks into this job. Even though I know it’s the employee behavior that brought about these circumstances, I also know others will equate those actions with my presence. It leaves me to ponder how to move forward and overcome these hurdles when I am already burning the candle at both ends. I don’t think many people truly appreciate the level of burden that comes with being a leader. And I’m not only speaking to leaders in terms of career…this includes our familial leaders, our government leaders, our teachers, our coaches, our mentors, our spiritual leaders, and truly anyone who have been given the space or platform to be influential in the lives of others. Leadership is a great responsibility and over the past few years, my view on the subject has matured in deed and thought. Here is what I’ve learned…

    • Leadership is a spiritual assignment, leaders will give an account to God for how they lead, which should urge them to care for people with integrity and diligence. “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock” – 1 Peter 5:2-3.
    • Leaders experience moments of weakness too. Great leaders are humble enough to know that the success of their leadership can never be obtained through their power alone. “Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you” – James 4:10. The Lord is the ultimate source of power during times when we know all we have will not suffice. “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline” – 2 Timothy 1:7.
    • The Bible gives us Jesus as the blueprint for true servant leadership. In John 13, Jesus washed His disciples’ feet, providing a powerful example of servant leadership. In Matthew 20:25-28, Jesus explains that leadership is about serving others rather than exercising authority over them. He said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

    When leaders fail to follow these principles, they stifle the growth of those under their stewardship. We feel the effects of this rippling through our communities. If you are any type of leader that is struggling in some capacity, I would encourage you to engage the work of John Maxwell who has a plethora of resources geared towards leadership growth. All of us should pray for the leaders in our lives. Pray that they have wisdom and discernment to know what is right and best for those they serve. Pray that they lead lives of integrity and uprightness, that their hearts be guarded against deceit and corruption and their lives be a reflection of God’s truth. Pray for your leaders to have courage and strength as they face challenges, that the Lord helps them to stand firm in times of difficulty. Pray that your leaders are protected, guided in righteousness and by wise counsel. Pray that your leaders speak out against injustice and have compassion for everyone they come in contact with. Finally, pray that they have clarity of their vision and are humble and accountable before God, submitting to His authority and honoring Him in all that they do!

    Hope this has encouraged you to encourage a leader in your life. Have a great week! Who Dat!!! : )

  • Time for something different

    Time for something different

    I was talking to one of my sisters last night. She mentioned that it’s funny how our style changes over time. Specifically, the conversation was about home decor. I’ve always been a clean line,  minimalist girl. Her vibe growing up was a little more dramatic. I started thinking about how this is also true for relationships, especially friendships. As you mature in deed and thought, you learn most relationships are only for certain seasons of your life. That doesn’t mean you have to completely ditch your old friends. It’s just accepting how you relate to them in 2024 may not resemble how it did in 2004…and that’s OK!

    I feel like my current friends are in certain categories. I have some that I’ve bonded with over career, some over Jesus, others over academic endeavors, and some have that gift of giving life and laughs when you need them most. No matter what need your friends fulfill, it’s important to choose them wisely. The old folks say, “Watch the company you keep.” As you begin to realize that time is the most precious commodity we have, who we spend it with becomes of extreme importance. Proverbs 13:20 was the YouVersion verse of the day today.

    Are your friends wise or fools? Which friend are you??? I pray that I am the woman ready to give wise counsel to another when it’s needed. There are always moments where a little foolery may actually be good for us, but in general, I would advise to abide with the wise!

  • Highs and lows

    Highs and lows

    Ugh. I hate that it’s been almost 2 weeks since my last entry, especially since I had something simmering in spirit. Seems as though everything in my life revved up at once. C’est la vie right now!

    At the beginning of the year, I was very intentional with my prayer board. I read my way through Fervent by Priscilla Shirer and wrote a prayer for each of the strategies. Early last week, I was in my closet revisiting those prayers. In one of the prayers I asked for my words to come to life in an artistic fashion, like the words of King David. Now, this is why people say you need to read your bible…all those Psalms written by David weren’t beautiful pictures. And the ones that were, well, he had to go through some things to be able to verbally illustrate. I started laughing to myself, and I was like Lord, can I take that part of the prayer back?!?!?

    How many times do we think about what someone else has done or can do and wish that we had the same talent/skill/zeal, never once stopping to consider what that person went through for the expression of that gift? So, I’m going to pass on what David had to deal with and focus on Tiffany. We each have our own valleys, ya know? Psalm 23 was presented to us this past Sunday in a way which we could examine with new eyes. For 2 weeks in a row, David has been schooling me. Myron Golden walked us through this passage of scripture as if it were art. He reminded us that there is always a mountain on either side of a valley (otherwise it couldn’t be a valley). The valley is intended for us to go through…the scripture doesn’t say we get stuck and perish there. Once we reach the other side of the valley, there is a table AND an anointing waiting.

    When I think about it, my life has been a series of mountains and valleys. I don’t know about you, but that gives me a different perspective of the valleys in life. It actually makes me look forward to them because I know the Lord has something prepared for me once I make it through. Again, by default, you cannot experience the fullness of a mountain without the valley. The two lessons from David:

    • Comparison is the thief of joy. Be you, how the Lord created you in Christ! You don’t need to be like anyone else to experience God’s abundance.
    • Grow through what you go through. The valley is purposeful for every season of your life, and His goodness and mercy as always there with you.
  • Monotonous or marvelous?

    Monotonous or marvelous?

    This past week has been a whirlwind! Always so much to take in when starting a new job (no matter what the industry). In healthcare, there are regulatory competencies and education that are completed by all workers, regardless of the work setting, patient population, or geographic location. HIPAA for example…is federal legislation that requires annual compliance training. Breaking that law can get you into big trouble. On Tuesday, I rushed my way through hours of modules on content I feel I know very well. Most seasoned healthcare workers take this same approach. You can be competent of the knowledge and still choose to be ignorant, or should I say laxed for a better usage of words, when it comes to application. Based on my previous example, if I had a dollar for every time a computer screen was found unsecure with patient information sitting on a maximized screen, I could retire.

    On my way home today, I got to thinking about how we often take this same approach to God’s Word. And not just us in modern times but throughout history. Generation after generation, trial after trial, and circumstance after circumstance, we are taught the same lessons. We experience the sovereignty of God, not when we know the word, but when we apply it. Did you know the phrase “Do not be afraid” appears in the Bible 365 times?!?! Moses struggled with fear and doubt that he should be the one to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Elijah, a prophet, at one time feared for his life and fled to the desert. Jonah ran away out of fear, only to find himself in an even more precarious situation, in the belly of a whale. All these men knew of God and His word. It was only when they acted in faith that their fears were overcome, and the Lord led them to do marvelous things AKA His work.

    I guess, my point is don’t just keep approaching the word with a mundane mindset…finishing scriptures you know mid-sentence when the pastor is preaching but have yet to put action to. Use your knowledge to be a doer of the word. Show the Lord you are committed to His will and His way, and allow Him to bless you as He sees fit.

    “But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not just hearers who deceive themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who has looked intently at the perfect law, the law of freedom, and has continued in it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an active doer, this person will be blessed in what he does.” – James 1:22-25

  • Sowing seeds

    Sowing seeds

    Last night, I attended our Wednesday Night Connect service. Worship led to an impromptu prayer session. We were instructed to pair up. As I turned clockwise from my aisle spot, everyone near me was already paired. There was a young lady across the aisle from me in need of a partner, so there we were. I had never met her or seen her at church before. When I asked if she had any specific requests, she tearfully shared that she needed tuition for her upcoming seminary classes and a job.

    Prior to Monday, we had the same exact prayer requests: On Monday afternoon, I received a call awarding me a scholarship that covered my upcoming fall tuition. First of all, y’all, I saw the scholarship on scholarship.junkie’s Instagram page the day she posted it on May 7th. The scholarship due date was May 15th. Electronically, that’s plenty of time, but the application had to be sent via USPS. One of my transcripts had to be mailed, so I paid for an expedited copy. It arrived on the evening of May 13th. On May 14th, I made sure everything was in order and overnighted the application to the sponsoring foundation. Being out of work for over 7 months now, it was very possible that I would have had to sit out a semester if I couldn’t find a way to cover the tuition.

    With that said, I would never consider this meeting a coincidence. The Holy Spirit intentionally brought us together. I may not be in a position to pay her tuition, but I am a legitimate source of truth that God is faithful and knows our needs. I simply smiled, shared my testimony, and reminded her that God is Provider and our source for all things! It brought me joy to be able to glorify the Lord and encourage her at the same time.

    “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you also are doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 NASB

    Never underestimate how sharing your journey can plant seeds in another human being. It’s not up to us to nurture and grow it. That’s the Lord’s job. You may never see the harvest of your planting. Just know He is willing and able to make all things fruitful.

    Live with your eyes open and be intentional. Who is He asking you to sow into today?

  • Idols

    Idols

    I went to the rental center at DFW airport Wednesday afternoon, and in the middle of the building, propped in the air is this bronze bull. It struck me as odd because I did not believe any of the companies had a bull as their mascot, and then I laughed to myself a little based on a message delivered a few days earlier.

    Last Sunday, Pastor Jonathan Evans gave a sermon from 2 Kings 13 about Joash missing out on his victory because he didn’t shoot all the arrows. It was a sermon I had heard before, but Jonathan added context as to why the king was down to 50 horseman, 10 chariots, and in need of a spiritual victory. He referred us back to 1 Kings 12:28 when a previous king of Israel, Jeroboam decided to sin against God, “So the king consulted, and he made two golden calves; and he said to the people, “It is too much for you to go up to Jerusalem; behold your gods, Israel, that brought you up from the land of Egypt.” It goes on to say how this angered the LORD (rightfully so), and other kings followed in his example, so Israel was defeated over and over by their enemies until all that was left, was surely not enough.

    It is very easy for us to make idols out of anything…other people, jobs, relationships, possessions, drugs, alcohol, sex, ambition, political parties, and of course, money! Jonathan had mentioned the Bull of Wall Street, that’s why when I saw the bull in the rental center I chuckled. It made me wonder if people who are believers stop to consider the symbolism of things. Are we even aware when the stage is set for us to easily engage in idolatry? Idols are easy to identify. They move us out of alignment with God…His word and/or His will. It’s important to note how the consequence of sin was not limited to the one king, it continued down the line. As a rationale thinker, I would assume the first of the Ten Commandments is the most important. If you’re not sure about whether there are idols in your life, you can always ask the Holy Spirit to show you. Just be prepared to accept and act on what is presented to you. I hope you have a wonderful week!

    2 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. 3“You shall have no other gods before Me. 4“You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath, or in the water under the earth. 5 You shall not worship them nor serve them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, inflicting the punishment of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me, 6 but showing favor to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.” – Exodus 20:2-6

  • Building new tables

    Building new tables

    Last month, I learned I had been accepted into a communicator’s coaching program. Our cohort met in-person for the first meeting in Dallas yesterday. The group was an amazing group of women, in all seasons of life, from different areas around the country. I need to tell a little backstory before I get to my point…

    The summers before my junior and senior high school years were spent in Houston, TX on the campus of Texas Southern University (TSU). I was selected into the NASA Summer High School Apprenticeship Research Program (SHARP) PLUS Program. It was essentially a S.T.E.M. research program that afforded high school students the opportunity to perform research within the industry, and several universities hosted the apprentices on their campuses. The program director on TSU’s campus was Dr. Halcyon Watkins. We mostly engaged with our facilitators, but during some reflection time last month when I was seriously considering walking away from nursing leadership, Dr. Watkins’ name came to the forefront of my mind. I googled her to see if she was still teaching at TSU and found all of these articles about her life experiences. Having lived in both the north and south during the Civil Rights movement, she participated in national events, campus organizations to support minority students, and local sit-ins in the Houston area.

    I think knowing her personally, somehow made it more real that someone during their lifetime did something so that I could live a better life. It made me rethink my decision about continuing the good fight. There is a lot of talk in our culture about having a seat at the table. Let’s be real, some seats are hella uncomfortable. Maybe your seat is a folding chair and doesn’t even allow you to be at the same level as everyone else at the table. MAYBE your seat makes you feel like you’re sitting Indian style on the floor. Maybe your seat is SO comfortable, it’s molded to your butt cheeks! Either way, the truth is sometimes it just ain’t about the seat. Maybe it’s the table that’s wobbly and uneven, has rotted out over time, is beyond restoration, or maybe was eaten up during a horrible termite season. I love this TED talk by Lilly Singh that popped up in my LinkedIn feed this morning. I came to two conclusions after listening to this video.

    1. There IS still value in having a seat at the table, building on the work of those before us.
    2. AND sometimes the need we are trying to meet requires building a new table.

    We have to continue to do one or the other. Even if we don’t get to see our promised land, generations down the line will still benefit from our commitment of being present and being a wise builder.

    “If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward” – 1 Corinthians 3:14 NIV

    To come back full circle to yesterday, there were some women in the room that are being called to build new tables, navigating spaces in the life that are new and unknown. I am excited to see how the Lord will use this process to do His work!

  • Waiting season

    Waiting season

    Since having passed the six month mark without a job, I’ve been like, “Lord, now what?” So many emotions tend to bubble up when we don’t know what happens next. I have been intentional about using my moments of angst to fuel my faith. I went to church Wednesday night. The sermon was about what happens during the waiting. Pastor Bryan Carter referenced King David and how he was anointed as king more than a decade before he actually was appointed to the position. Pastor Carter shared 3 attributes about the waiting time:

    • 1. Waiting time is testing time.
    • 2. Waiting time is working time.
    • 3. Waiting time is NOT wasting time.

    As I have reflected on my own situation the past couple of days, I can say I know these 3 things to be true. The YouVersion app started going over Psalm 23 this week for the verse of the day. This morning was verses 5-6, and what spoke to me through the spirit was, “You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows.” It was a rhema word. I remembered Pastor Carter said anointment comes before the appointment. During my interviews last week, instead of saying all the right things I know everyone wanted to hear, I answered with the truth. I can honestly say I feel the antointing God has placed over this area of my life. And when I read those verses this morning, the Holy Spirit told me my appointment is coming. Do not be afraid of the challenges that will arise; I can be reassured God’s presence will be with me. And all the overflow from my cup will spill into the lives of those that surround me. Isn’t that goodness worth waiting for? If you are in a season of waiting, remember this…

    • God wants to see your true character during the test(s).
    • God is always working during the wait.
    • God wastes nothing. He uses every season.

    Thank you Pastor Carter for message. Hope y’all have a great week!

  • The right vantage point

    The right vantage point

    Earlier today, I was walking back and forth between the house and my vehicle trying to locate my headphones. They aren’t even Bluetooth y’all; They are the standard corded black pair that came with my Samsung…yes, I’m team android! I get upset when I cannot find things because I’m the only one in the house, so there is no one to blame but me. There are only so many spots I utilize within my home, and I have a somewhat rhythmic manner in where I place things within those spaces. Even if I have papers all over resembling chaos and disarray, I almost always know what is in each stack and where I should look if I need something. This was not the case with my headphones. Between my bedroom, my office, my living room, my purses, and my vehicle, I searched almost an hour!

    I went back into my office and had almost resolved to giving up. I knew the moment I would complete checkout for a new pair on Amazon, the old pair would miraculously appear. I plopped on the futon, letting out a huge sigh as I looked in disgust at all the things I pulled out from their designated places to try and find the headphones. I leaned back on a pillow, looking straight ahead, and there were the headphones. Neatly coiled and tucked between an open space in my level that was covered up by a box of highlighters.

    It made me think…We can have a high level of self-awareness. We can commit time and energy to try and secure that little accessory that will enhance our life. We’ll get frustrated and make an even bigger mess in our lives when we cannot find/obtain it. Sometimes all we have to do is sit, be still, and let the Lord guide us to see what only He can see, because He has the vantage point.

    “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” – Hebrews 4:13

  • Stage 7

    Stage 7

    Generativity vs Stagnation

    Lots of movement in a number of things this week. Also a reflection on why certain things are the focus at this particular time in my life. I remembered from nursing school that we talked about Erik Erickson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development. Stage 7 occurs during middle adulthood, ages 40-65. In this stage, an individual’s focus is centered on guiding the next generation life through career, family, and societal contributions. This includes activities such as parenting, mentoring, and community involvement. Successfully achieving generativity leads to feelings of usefulness and accomplishment, while failing to do so results in stagnation, characterized by feelings of unproductiveness, disconnection, and a lack of personal growth. This stage is crucial for maintaining a sense of purpose and continuity in one’s life.

    Yep, that sounds about right. I have seen so many adults on social media recently share their discontent for their job search experiences for all of the reasons I’ve posted before, and more. It is taking people (most with education and experience) 6 months to a year to secure employment. According to the stage 7 definition above, it is clear how this can affect someone’s psychosocial development. In 4 days, I will have been 6 months unemployed. Praise the Lord for being Jehovah Jireh during this time by giving me provision and ensuring all of my needs are met! I still pray that he covers those in similar circumstance. It is so easy to find ourselves making decisions out of desperation or what we feel is most important in our lives.

    As this journey continues, my prayer remains to secure a position where my skills shine in a way that I can only give glory to the Creator and in an environment where I do not have to compromise my identity to function and maintain my well-being. I hope that whichever stage of life you are in, and wherever you are in your journey, you do not allow the enemy space to show up and perpetuate schemes that dictate over your mindset or relationships.

    “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” – James 4:7 NIV