ç'est la vie RN

Tag: discernment

  • Maybe the Pressure is Preparation

    Maybe the Pressure is Preparation

    If you were here last week, you will recall I was having what can only be described as a full-grown toddler fit with God. You know the kind…

    I don’t want to do this. This is not what I had in mind.

    I am certain God was unimpressed with my presentation. The very next day, I sat in church while visiting Pastor Jerry Flowers preached a message titled “Heartbreak & God’s Timing.” The message centered on what happens when our expectations collide with God’s process, and one statement gave that fist to the mouth ooh feeling:

    “Worry is a down payment on a problem you don’t even have yet.”

    Well…

    Pastor Flowers challenged something else we (believers) do on the regular. We are quick to blame every uncomfortable season on the enemy. Every delay must be spiritual warfare. Every closed door must be the devil. Every difficult assignment must mean we are somewhere we are not supposed to be. But what if some of the pressure is not opposition? What if it is preparation?

    During the process he calls “The Journey of Promise,” Flowers teaches that pain and purpose can exist together and that part of receiving a promise is allowing God to develop us for it. So, I began to reconsider the season I am currently in.

    Does Pressure Have a Purpose?

    I have been very open about the fact that this current season has not looked the way I expected it to look. Teaching was not where I thought I was headed. And yet, this week, several students independently shared with me what their experience with me as faculty has meant to them. One even asked me to mentor them after they graduate.

    One student saying something kind is encouraging. Several students, separately, speaking the same thing? I started paying attention. Because perhaps I had been so focused on asking God, “Why am I here?” that I was missing what He was showing me about who I am becoming here. Maybe this season is not a detour from purpose. Maybe it is development for purpose.

    God Is Not the Author of Confusion

    First Corinthians 14:33 says,

    “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.” (NIV)

    That does not mean we will always understand what God is doing. There is a difference between mystery and confusion. I will never know where every step leads. I may not understand the timing, but I can still have peace about the next step. Being obedient to God’s itinerary requires listening. And listening to God is different from asking Him to cosign what we already decided. Ouch…I know.

    So How Do We Actually Listen?

    Priscilla Shirer has spent much of her ministry teaching about discerning the voice of God. One of the foundational ideas in her teaching is that recognizing God’s voice grows out of relationship with Him. We learn the character, language, and tone of the One we consistently spend time with (in His Word).

    Lysa TerKeurst offers a practical filter. When she believes God may be directing her, she asks whether what she is sensing aligns with Scripture, reflects God’s character, receives confirmation through prayer, church messages or trusted conversations, stretches beyond her own ability, and ultimately pleases God. That third one is the one. It’s when we’re like…Lord, is that you, or am I making this up in my head?

    Is God confirming the message through multiple places?

    Quiet time.

    Scripture.

    A sermon.

    A conversation.

    Students who have absolutely no idea what I have been talking to God about.

    Hmmm…

    Confirmation does not always arrive with thunder from heaven. Sometimes it sounds like the same message showing up over and over until we finally stop saying, “Lord, could You make it clearer?” And God is probably like, Girl…!

    Confirmation Does Not Mean Comfortable

    Scripture gives us absolutely no basis for believing obedience will always feel comfortable.

    James 1:2-4 reminds us that the testing of our faith develops perseverance and that perseverance does something in us. It matures us. Christine Caine puts it another way: we are called to obedience, not convenience. God’s plan for our lives may require releasing the version we mapped out for ourselves and faithfully working where He has us while remaining ready when He opens the next door.

    That sounds suspiciously relevant to my life right now. Maybe the pressure I have been feeling is God pressing something out of me.

    More patience.

    More surrender.

    More confidence in gifts I minimize.

    More clarity about whom I am called to serve.

    More willingness to allow purpose to evolve beyond the title I thought it had to carry.

    More trust.

    I am learning to recognize His direction through Scripture, prayer, wise counsel, repeated confirmation, opportunities to use what He has already placed in me, and the quiet peace that remains even when my circumstances are not particularly peaceful. Sometimes confirmation simply says:

    Yes, daughter. You heard Me…

    Keep teaching.

    Keep pouring.

    Keep building.

    Keep growing.

    Keep preparing.

    Keep walking.

    The pressure is not necessarily punishment. The waiting is definitely not wasted (I know from experience). And the unfamiliar road is not necessarily the wrong one. Sometimes God is developing us for the very thing we have been asking Him for. Perhaps my prayer in this season needs to change. Less, “God, I don’t wanna go there.” And more,

    “God, please do not let me leave this season without becoming everything You brought me here to become!”

  • The Biggest Betrayal

    The Biggest Betrayal

    This past Tuesday, I attended an intimate networking event for healthcare executives. It was the kind of gathering where people could speak openly, wrestle with complex ideas, and share lessons they had learned through leadership and life. Every space is not a safe space, so I appreciated the privacy of the conversation. As I reflected on the evening, one comment continued to linger with me. An executive shared that when he is considering a decision, he asks himself a question:

    “Would doing this be a betrayal of myself?”

    Whew.

    That was deep.

    It made me think about the decisions we make when no one else is watching. The opportunities we accept. The conversations we entertain. The boundaries we ignore. The convictions we silence. The ways we sometimes shrink, perform, compromise, or settle because doing so feels easier in the moment.

    But as believers, the question goes even deeper. We do not belong only to ourselves. Our identity is rooted in Christ. So perhaps the question is not simply, would this decision betray me? We must also ask:

    “Would this decision betray who I am in Christ?”

    When Our Desires Become Disconnected

    Sometimes we approach decisions as though our desires and God’s desires exist in two separate spaces.

    I want what I want.

    God wants what He wants.

    And somehow, we convince ourselves that the two do not have to meet. We may pray for God’s direction while secretly hoping He will approve the direction we have already chosen. We may ask for wisdom while leaning heavily on our own understanding. We may know what aligns with our values, yet make the opposite choice because it promises comfort, recognition, companionship, advancement, or immediate relief. Proverbs 3:5–6 reminds us:

    “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” — Proverbs 3:5–6, NIV

    Notice the phrase “in all your ways.”

    Not only in church.

    Not only when the decision feels spiritual.

    Not only when the consequences are obvious.

    Our faith is not an accessory that we put on when it complements our plans. Our identity in Christ is meant to influence how we lead, work, speak, love, respond, and choose.

    Paul writes, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (Galatians 2:20, NIV).

    That does not mean we lose our personalities, ambitions, dreams, or individuality. It means those things are surrendered to something greater. Our lives are no longer guided solely by what feels good, looks successful, or satisfies us temporarily. Our decisions should increasingly reflect the character of the One who lives within us.

    Peter Knew What Betrayal Felt Like

    Remember when Peter boldly declared that he would never abandon Jesus. Yet when pressure came, he denied even knowing Him—not once, but three times. Peter’s words in that courtyard contradicted everything he had previously professed. Fear caused him to behave in a way that betrayed both his relationship with Jesus and the person he believed himself to be.

    Then the rooster crowed.

    That sound forced Peter to confront the distance between his confession and his conduct. Luke tells us that Peter went outside and wept bitterly (Luke 22:54–62). Many of us have experienced our own rooster-crowing moments; the conversation ends, the relationship falls apart, the opportunity passes, or the emotional fog lifts. Suddenly, we recognize that the choice we made did not reflect our values, our calling, or our identity in Christ.

    We wonder…How did I get here? Why did I agree to that? Why did I ignore what I knew? Why did I allow fear, pride, loneliness, anger, or ambition make the decision for me?

    Praise the Lord for His faithfulness, because Peter’s story did not end with his betrayal.

    Jesus restored him.

    In John 21, Jesus met Peter again—not to humiliate him, but to recommission him. Peter’s failure was real, but it was not final. Jesus allowed him to acknowledge his love, reclaim his purpose, and move forward with greater humility. That is good news for us too!

    Pause Before You Proceed

    Living in alignment with Christ requires good intentions and awareness. Romans 12:2 instructs us not to conform to the patterns of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. That transformation affects how we evaluate our choices. It teaches us to pause before responding, agreeing, pursuing, or walking away.

    Before making a decision, we can ask:

    Does this choice reflect the character of Christ?

    Am I acting from faith or from fear?

    Will this require me to silence a conviction, compromise a value, or become someone I do not recognize?

    Am I seeking God’s direction, or merely asking Him to bless my preference?

    Not every difficult decision is wrong, and not every uncomfortable path is a betrayal of ourselves. Sometimes obedience requires us to leave what is familiar, disappoint others, establish boundaries, or surrender something we genuinely wanted.

    The goal is not to protect every personal desire.

    The goal is alignment.

    When our identity is anchored in Christ, betraying who we are in Him becomes the biggest betrayal of all. Yet even when we fall short, grace invites us to recognize it, repent, receive restoration, and choose differently the next time.

    Reflect…

    When was the last time I made a decision that betrayed who I am in Christ?

    What influenced that decision—fear, pride, pressure, loneliness, anger, ambition, or something else? Should a similar situation arise again, what would you do differently to ensure your choice reflects both your convictions and your identity in Christ?

    Before your next yes, ask whether it requires you to betray your truest identity.

  • Time for something different

    Time for something different

    I was talking to one of my sisters last night. She mentioned that it’s funny how our style changes over time. Specifically, the conversation was about home decor. I’ve always been a clean line,  minimalist girl. Her vibe growing up was a little more dramatic. I started thinking about how this is also true for relationships, especially friendships. As you mature in deed and thought, you learn most relationships are only for certain seasons of your life. That doesn’t mean you have to completely ditch your old friends. It’s just accepting how you relate to them in 2024 may not resemble how it did in 2004…and that’s OK!

    I feel like my current friends are in certain categories. I have some that I’ve bonded with over career, some over Jesus, others over academic endeavors, and some have that gift of giving life and laughs when you need them most. No matter what need your friends fulfill, it’s important to choose them wisely. The old folks say, “Watch the company you keep.” As you begin to realize that time is the most precious commodity we have, who we spend it with becomes of extreme importance. Proverbs 13:20 was the YouVersion verse of the day today.

    Are your friends wise or fools? Which friend are you??? I pray that I am the woman ready to give wise counsel to another when it’s needed. There are always moments where a little foolery may actually be good for us, but in general, I would advise to abide with the wise!