ç'est la vie RN

Category: nursing

  • But God, I Really Don’t Wanna…

    But God, I Really Don’t Wanna…

    I am sitting in the library right now (Saturday, August 8, 2026, 12:28pm) doing something I really do not want to do. And when I say I do not want to do it, I mean there is a full-blown toddler living inside of me with her arms crossed, bottom lip poked out, quietly preparing to throw herself on the floor.

    But God, I really don’t wanna...

    That is about as sophisticated as my prayer has been lately. Here is the context…

    I recently entered the world of academia, and if I am being completely truthful, academia was always part of my nursing plan. Just not this current plan. In my mind, I would settle into the executive leadership phase of my career first. I would spend more years refining my ability to lead teams, build programs, influence systems, and do the work I have spent so much of my career preparing to do. Then, somewhere later down the road, I would ease into academia. You know, cruise a little…

    Teach.

    Pour into the next generation.

    Maybe wear a cute cardigan and carry an unnecessarily large coffee mug while telling nursing students stories about “back when I was at the bedside.”

    That was the plan.

    The problem is that August marks one year since I have held a full-time nursing leadership position. An entire year (deep sigh). There have been conversations. Interviews. Possibilities. Opportunities that seemed promising. Doors I thought might open.

    And yet, here I am.

    I am incredibly grateful for the faculty role God provided. It came at a time when I needed it, and there is no question that teaching has awakened something in my soul. I love watching students make connections. I love helping them move from memorizing information to actually thinking like nurses. It’s humbling; having the privilege to shape nurses before the habits of the profession fully settle in.

    It is meaningful work.

    However, I was not prepared for academia to potentially become my main work right now.

    Back in April, someone in one of my church classes encouraged me to write down my plan and submit it to God. So I did. I wrote down what I wanted, what I believed the next season should look like, where I hoped my career was headed, and how was going to actively participate in the process.

    Then I waited.

    And waited.

    And, if I’m being 100% transparent with you, I became increasingly irritated with the waiting. (Need to work on that long-suffering fruit). Nothing seemed to move. Eventually, I decided maybe I needed to call an audible on my plan. About a month ago, I made a new commitment: If nothing transpired in leadership by the end of July, I would begin applying for full-time academic positions.

    Well…July has come and gone.

    Which explains why I am sitting in this library…Looking at faculty positions. Moving in a direction while everything inside of me is screaming…Noooooooo!!!!!

    Because somewhere in my mind, accepting a full-time academic position feels like closing the door on leadership. And that hurts. I have worked hard for that dream.

    Degrees.

    Certifications.

    Long days.

    Late nights.

    Difficult personalities.

    Professional development.

    Sacrifices unseen.

    I did not accidentally wander toward executive nursing leadership. I made a choice and have intentionally built toward it for years. So, this does not feel like simply applying for another job.

    It feels like surrendering something. And maybe that is exactly why this is so uncomfortable.

    Proverbs 16:9 (NIV) says, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps”.

    Sadly, I like that verse much better when His steps look like my plan.

    Surrender sounds beautiful until God starts touching the things you were certain He gave you permission to desire. We talk often about trusting God with our future, but sometimes trust looks less like peaceful worship music playing in the background and more like clicking “submit application” while muttering, “Lord…I am doing this because I said I would.”

    There is something ridiculously childlike about it. And maybe there should be…

    Because He is my Father.

    A loving Father does not always allow His children to choose the route simply because it is the route they prefer. Sometimes He redirects. Sometimes He delays. Sometimes He allows us to walk into seasons we would never have selected because He can see what we cannot.

    Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

    All things.

    Apparently, that includes career detours…

    Unanswered prayers…

    Unexpected classrooms…

    And plans that make us pout. ☹

    I’m thinking about Abraham, who was told to leave what was familiar without being given every detail about where he was going.

    Hebrews 11:8 (NIV) says of Abraham, “when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going”.

    I would personally prefer a map.

    Actually, as a first daughter and eldest of seven, I would prefer a map, estimated arrival time, salary range, organizational chart, and written confirmation that executive leadership is still somewhere on the itinerary.

    God has provided none of those.

    But He has given me enough light for the next step. And right now, the next step appears to be obedience.

    Not certainty.

    Not excitement.

    Not even agreement.

    Obedience.

    Ooooh wee…I can hear Priscilla Shirer in my head right now, “Lord, show me the next twenty years! And He’s like, if I can get you to be obedient for the next twenty minutes, you’ll be exactly where you need to be.”

    Perhaps I am looking at this season incorrectly. I am treating academia like a door that, once entered, locks behind me. But what if it is a hallway? What if the leadership I have been asking God for does not disappear here, but develops differently here? What if the classroom is not the end of my leadership journey, but part of its formation?

    I do not know.

    And I am not going to tie this post up with a pretty little bow and tell you I suddenly feel wonderful about it. I don’t.

    There is still a part of me sitting here saying, “God…I really don’t wanna…”

    And perhaps the prayer does not have to become more polished than that. And underneath the whining is something deeper:

    But I trust You.

    I trust that You know what You are doing.

    I trust that the years I have spent preparing were not wasted.

    I trust that no position, title, delay, or detour can cancel what You have purposed for my life.

    And I trust that if You are redirecting me, You are not abandoning me.

    So today, I am going to do the thing I said I would do.

    Reluctantly.

    Prayerfully.

    Probably with a little attitude.

    But obediently.

    Because sometimes faith is not walking confidently toward the thing you have always wanted.

    Sometimes faith is walking toward the thing you never planned for, holding your Father’s hand and saying,

    “Fine. I trust You. We’ll do this Your way. Let’s geaux.”

  • The Teacher is Still the Student

    The Teacher is Still the Student

    As the summer semester comes to an end, I find myself reflecting on how much I have learned. Not only about my students and clinical instruction; also about myself.

    When I stepped into the role of nursing faculty, I knew I would be responsible for helping students connect what they had learned in the classroom to what they would experience at the bedside. I expected to review assessments, medications, clinical judgment, prioritization, communication, and safe nursing care. I did not fully anticipate how much this experience would teach me.

    I have two more weeks of clinical remaining before the conclusion of the semester. Across four clinical groups, I have received positive feedback from my students. Their encouragement has meant more to me than they probably realize. I am reassured that they feel supported, the learning environment is meaningful, and my desire to help them grow was evident.

    Still, the teacher in me knows there is more work to do, which means the student in me knows there is much more to learn.

    A Different Perspective

    Throughout this semester, I gained a deeper understanding of why some nursing students arrive on the clinical floor feeling unprepared. It is a trend that most nurse leaders have an opinion about. It is easy to look at a struggling student and assume they did not study enough, are not taking the experience seriously, or simply are not ready. Sometimes those concerns may be valid. But preparation is more complicated than memorizing information or passing an exam, and inefficient processes can prevent anyone from going from good to great.

    Seeing the gaps up close has changed how I think about nursing education. It has made me ask better questions.

    What do students truly need in order to become safe nurses?

    How do we help them move beyond memorization and into clinical judgment?

    How do we prepare them not only to pass their current course, but to pass the NCLEX on their first attempt?

    How do we help them secure their first nursing position and enter that role with a realistic understanding of what transition to practice will require?

    Passing the class matters.

    Passing the NCLEX matters.

    Getting the job matters.

    But being prepared to care for real people when the safety net becomes smaller matters too.

    It’s Not Just About the Next Test

    This experience has strengthened my belief that nursing education cannot focus only on the next exam. The exam is important, but it is not the final destination.

    Students need help understanding how the information they are learning will follow them into clinical practice. They need opportunities to connect the dots, ask questions without feeling ashamed, make mistakes in a safe environment, and receive correction that helps them improve rather than causes them to shut down.

    They need structure.

    They need clear expectations.

    They need accountability.

    They also need someone willing to recognize that struggling does not always mean incapable.

    Sometimes it means the foundation needs to be strengthened.

    Sometimes it means the material needs to be explained differently.

    Sometimes it means the student needs help believing that growth is still possible.

    As for myself, I am learning how to serve students more intentionally. These are not lessons to master in one semester.

    Remaining Teachable

    Proverbs 1:5 says, “Let the wise listen and add to their learning.”

    I love the reminder within that verse. Wisdom does not mean we have reached the point where there is nothing left to learn. Wisdom recognizes how much there is still to understand. I may be the instructor in the clinical setting, but I am still a student of academia. I am learning the culture of nursing education. I am learning how today’s students process information. I am learning how to translate years of nursing experience into lessons that are clear, practical, and useful to someone who has not yet developed the instincts that experience brings.

    I am learning that knowing how to do something and knowing how to teach it are not always the same skill.

    That realization has been humbling. It has also been motivating.

    James 1:5 reminds us that when we lack wisdom, we can ask God, who gives generously. I have found myself doing exactly that; asking for wisdom to recognize what my students need, wisdom to communicate in a way they can receive, and wisdom to know how to prepare them for a profession that will demand both competence and courage.

    Mentorship is Mandatory

    Perhaps the greatest lesson of this semester is that my role cannot end with clinical paperwork, evaluation forms, or final grades. The experience is strengthening my resolve to mentor those who cross my path and need support. Not every student will need the same thing from me.

    Some may need clarification.

    Some may need confidence.

    Some may need correction.

    Some may need someone to challenge the limits they have placed on themselves.

    Some may simply need one person to see their potential before they are able to see it for themselves.

    Second Timothy 2:2 speaks about entrusting what we have learned to faithful people who will be able to teach others also. That verse reminds me that what we pour into others does not stop with them. The knowledge, encouragement, expectations, and example we give can continue through every patient they care for and every nurse they may one day mentor.

    There is still more for me to learn about academia. There is still more for me to understand about curriculum, student development, clinical judgment, NCLEX preparation, and transition to practice. There are still better ways for me to teach and students I have not yet met who may need what I am currently learning.

    So, as this semester closes, I am not simply walking away as the teacher who completed her current assignment. I am walking away…

    More aware.

    More intentional.

    More committed.

    And even more certain than before that teaching and mentorship are part of how I am called to serve.

    The teacher is still the student.

    And perhaps the best teachers always are.

  • New Season, Same Reason

    New Season, Same Reason

    Earlier this month, I stepped into a new season as adjunct nursing faculty, and if I am honest, it has been both exciting and uncomfortable…in the best way possible. After years of leading, mentoring, and serving in nursing, walking into a clinical site from the instructor side still came with nerves. There is humbling feeling about doing something new, even when you are experienced and in familiar surroundings.

    Much of my career is spent encouraging nurses, advocating for patients, and helping teams grow. I was fortunate enough to be assigned to the site of my former team. Still, this role feels different. It is more intentional. More personal. More legacy-driven.

    Every clinical day, as I meet students preparing to enter one of the most demanding and rewarding professions, it reminds me that nursing is more than skills and checklists. Nursing is compassion in motion. It is critical thinking paired with humanity. It is showing up for people during some of the hardest moments of their lives.

    There is also a unique responsibility in teaching future nurses because students are not just listening to what we say; they are watching how we live, lead, communicate, and care. That realization has always challenged me to truly put my words into motion. Which also prompts me to reflect and share about my own nursing school mistakes made. Confirmation came at the end of the first day in post-conference when my students shared how the staff spoke highly of me and was genuinely happy to me.

    James 1:22 (NASB) tells us:

    “But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not just hearers who deceive themselves.”

    Over the past few years, I developed a passion for mentorship, purpose, faith, leadership, and encouraging others to walk boldly in their calling. Now, I have the opportunity to actively live that out in front of the next generation. Not perfectly, but faithfully.

    And honestly, that stretches me.

    There are moments where I question whether I am explaining concepts clearly enough or making the impact I hope to make. But growth rarely happens inside comfort zones. God often calls us into spaces that require dependence on Him rather than confidence in ourselves.

    One scripture that has carried me during this transition is Joshua 1:9 (NASB):

    “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

    This verse is a quiet reminder that new assignments often come with unfamiliar feelings, but they also come with grace for the journey.

    As I continue this path in nursing education, my prayer is simple: that students leave my presence not only better prepared clinically but also encouraged personally. Nursing needs competent professionals, but it also needs compassionate caregivers and leaders.

    And since I believe in shameless plugs when purpose is attached to them, preparation for this new season came in the form of a devotional, The Sacred Shift: A Devotional Journal for Aspiring Nurses. I wrote it to encourage students and graduate nurses to keep moving forward in faith, even when stepping into unfamiliar territory feels uncomfortable. Sometimes God grows us most when He stretches us beyond what feels familiar.

    This chapter is new for me, but I am grateful for it already. The role may be different, but the mission remains the same: serve, encourage, lead, and pour into others well.

  • He’s in the room

    He’s in the room

    I’ve been running around like crazy the past two days, but I had to come share a quick story about yesterday. The day started with me getting up super early to have an expectations conversation with a pair of feuding nurses. I wasn’t ridiculously concerned about having the conversation, but the energy required to counteract negativity can be mentally draining. After I completed that task, I proceeded to my office. About two hours later, one of the pharmacy techs was passing by. We exchanged morning greetings, and a few seconds later she reappeared at my door. She said, “Jesus told me to tell you He loves you.” She said initially she was going to keep walking, but it hit her spirit so heavy she knew she couldn’t. Not even two hours later, one of the nurses asked if we could chat. I invited her into my office, and we went through her checklist of items. She begins to tell me how there is a change in the atmosphere with my presence and says, “You must have brought Jesus in here with you.”

    Later that afternoon, another nurse came to visit me. We discussed a number of things for about fifteen minutes and before she leaves, she closes the door and says, “I wanna tell you something.” She continues to tell me how I am doing a great job, and she feels I was sent there specifically for that staff…I got chills. It’s confirmation that…1) I am clear about my purpose. 2) I was anointed before I was appointed. 3) The Lord is with me! It gives me confidence and certainty of victory that is to come. How gracious of God to send blessed assurance in such an unexpected way! I may have not overtly felt the Lord’s presence for myself yesterday, but He made sure I KNEW He was there. And knowing so, gives me such joy!

    Psalm 16:11 speaks of the deep joy and fulfillment found in God’s presence. The passage highlights that true life and satisfaction come from walking with God. It points to the eternal joy and pleasure that can only be experienced in communion with Him, both in this life and for eternity. It reminds believers that God’s guidance leads to lasting peace and joy that surpasses anything the world offers. Do you have joy or do you need a closer with Thee?

  • Monotonous or marvelous?

    Monotonous or marvelous?

    This past week has been a whirlwind! Always so much to take in when starting a new job (no matter what the industry). In healthcare, there are regulatory competencies and education that are completed by all workers, regardless of the work setting, patient population, or geographic location. HIPAA for example…is federal legislation that requires annual compliance training. Breaking that law can get you into big trouble. On Tuesday, I rushed my way through hours of modules on content I feel I know very well. Most seasoned healthcare workers take this same approach. You can be competent of the knowledge and still choose to be ignorant, or should I say laxed for a better usage of words, when it comes to application. Based on my previous example, if I had a dollar for every time a computer screen was found unsecure with patient information sitting on a maximized screen, I could retire.

    On my way home today, I got to thinking about how we often take this same approach to God’s Word. And not just us in modern times but throughout history. Generation after generation, trial after trial, and circumstance after circumstance, we are taught the same lessons. We experience the sovereignty of God, not when we know the word, but when we apply it. Did you know the phrase “Do not be afraid” appears in the Bible 365 times?!?! Moses struggled with fear and doubt that he should be the one to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Elijah, a prophet, at one time feared for his life and fled to the desert. Jonah ran away out of fear, only to find himself in an even more precarious situation, in the belly of a whale. All these men knew of God and His word. It was only when they acted in faith that their fears were overcome, and the Lord led them to do marvelous things AKA His work.

    I guess, my point is don’t just keep approaching the word with a mundane mindset…finishing scriptures you know mid-sentence when the pastor is preaching but have yet to put action to. Use your knowledge to be a doer of the word. Show the Lord you are committed to His will and His way, and allow Him to bless you as He sees fit.

    “But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not just hearers who deceive themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who has looked intently at the perfect law, the law of freedom, and has continued in it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an active doer, this person will be blessed in what he does.” – James 1:22-25

  • Stage 7

    Stage 7

    Generativity vs Stagnation

    Lots of movement in a number of things this week. Also a reflection on why certain things are the focus at this particular time in my life. I remembered from nursing school that we talked about Erik Erickson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development. Stage 7 occurs during middle adulthood, ages 40-65. In this stage, an individual’s focus is centered on guiding the next generation life through career, family, and societal contributions. This includes activities such as parenting, mentoring, and community involvement. Successfully achieving generativity leads to feelings of usefulness and accomplishment, while failing to do so results in stagnation, characterized by feelings of unproductiveness, disconnection, and a lack of personal growth. This stage is crucial for maintaining a sense of purpose and continuity in one’s life.

    Yep, that sounds about right. I have seen so many adults on social media recently share their discontent for their job search experiences for all of the reasons I’ve posted before, and more. It is taking people (most with education and experience) 6 months to a year to secure employment. According to the stage 7 definition above, it is clear how this can affect someone’s psychosocial development. In 4 days, I will have been 6 months unemployed. Praise the Lord for being Jehovah Jireh during this time by giving me provision and ensuring all of my needs are met! I still pray that he covers those in similar circumstance. It is so easy to find ourselves making decisions out of desperation or what we feel is most important in our lives.

    As this journey continues, my prayer remains to secure a position where my skills shine in a way that I can only give glory to the Creator and in an environment where I do not have to compromise my identity to function and maintain my well-being. I hope that whichever stage of life you are in, and wherever you are in your journey, you do not allow the enemy space to show up and perpetuate schemes that dictate over your mindset or relationships.

    “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” – James 4:7 NIV

  • Time flies when you’re having fun

    Time flies when you’re having fun

    Do y’all believe it’s June already?!? The kids are out of school, probably already eating everything in sight and driving up light bills. June 1st was the official start of hurricane season. Temps are already blazing on the gulf coast; Only Lord knows how this is about to play out. I can’t believe it’s almost summer. As far as I’m concerned, we’re a wink from the 4th of July.

    This past weekend I was in San Antonio for the Texas Nurses Association conference. May I just share, there is a caliber of nurses whose calling is simply to inspire other nurses (thank you Rebecca Love and Kellie Bryant). Nurses in general, especially those at the bedside, typically focus on the art of nursing. There is so much more to our profession that makes it complex; For starters, being a huge entity of what sometimes feel like a circus in our healthcare landscape. The challenge is to bring more nursing voices to the places that are not the bedside but ultimately affect what happens at the bedside. This means getting more of us involved in policy (at all levels), in civic/non-profit boards, and becoming elected officials.

    There is also inspiration that comes from non-nurses at these conferences (Sarah DiGregorio). These are probably my most favorite speakers, because they remind me of how the depth of nursing is embedded in everyday life. Every single person will ALWAYS encounter a nurse for multiple occasions throughout their lifetime. I believe I previously shared that there is something I have simmering on a back burner. Sometimes it is difficult to know what we should or should not pursue. In this season of my life, I am being very intentional about asking God to order my steps and send me confirmation if I am moving in the right direction. I received that confirmation during the conference [more than once]. I am learning to trust the journey to the destination. Many times the Lord will show us the destination, keeping the intricate details to Himself. The journey, which can sometimes be treacherous, prepares us for the destination, and if we know the details of the journey, we may possibly opt-out [as God gives us free will]. This will only result in delaying or missing out on our blessing. Are you on a journey requiring you to exercise your faith muscle?

    Stop trying to control the process.

    Submit yourself to the Lord.

    Watch Him bring it all together.

    And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. – Romans 8:28

  • Change is coming…Ready or not

    Change is coming…Ready or not

    Happy Friday!

    We had our NTONL (North Texas Organization for Nursing Leadership) Spring Mixer yesterday. I’ve spent quite a bit of time in April around other nurse leaders. Conversational topics are the usual…staffing, the new generation of nurses, employers asking to do more with less, nursing being the catch all and responsible for lack in other departments. Let me first acknowledge that these are not every organization’s problems, but they are overarching themes within the profession of nursing as a whole.

    One of the more distressing topics is the decline in the quality of patient care and outcomes. Quick side note – I worked at Intralox, LLC in Harahan, LA for about 6 years prior to entering nursing school. They are the leader in plastic modular conveyor belts. I don’t recall the exact situation, but one day, then CEO James Farley had a meeting with everyone from the production floor. He said we should believe that people are genuinely good people, wanting to do the right thing, and we should give each other the benefit of the doubt (AKA grace) until shown otherwise. My younger self was a true skeptic when it came to people and was a “you have to earn my trust” kinda gal. I realize how crazy it sounds for someone with that thought process to go into a people centric business. However, the reason I remember that talk (and shared that story) is because after becoming a leader, I know that, without a doubt, most nurses show up to work to do and be their best.

    I think the disconnect is the failure to respond to the way things have changed, especially since the pandemic. There were a large number of nursing students that completed clinicals via simulations only because hospitals shut down as clinical sites. I feel like there has been no recovery for that. I feel that we (leaders) are not filling in the educational gaps (conflict resolution, effective communication, empowered decision making). We are persistent with overwhelming clinical nurses with tasks, only to get upset when they fail to utilize critical thinking skills. Why do we assume that everyone knows how to critically think? Some skills need to be taught. And don’t get me wrong, I am not oblivious to the fact that leaders fail to do these things because they are being inundated with their own tasks and professional responsibilities.

    We need to STOP and RESET! The future health of our nation depends hangs in the balance. It’s great to have conversation and hear the various perspectives, but it’s time for action. I plan on working on a little something…will keep it to myself until it comes to fruition. But I know how and what I need to do to make a difference. In the meantime, I am very proud of our NTONL board and the work we are doing to keep nurse leaders inspired. Remember…it takes each of us to do at least one thing to support all of us!

    NTONL Board Members – 2024 Spring Mixer